We're facebook friends in real life
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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