did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
