Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
