Just fell off a train. Bad.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
