whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
These tits shall not be calmed
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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