i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
