Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i believe in u and ur pee
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
