you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
