Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize