You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize