wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
