Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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