Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize