It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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