Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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