Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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