i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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