Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
