he puts the penis in happiness.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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