if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
