I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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