I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
