is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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