I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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