i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
