you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
