His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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