THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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