That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
