he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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