help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize