You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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