I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
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Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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