butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
birth control should be required to get into college
I just found puke in my bra..
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
