Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
