If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
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