watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
