After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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