If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
