from now on my penis is your penis
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Everclear isn't food dammit
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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