I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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