He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
