I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
