is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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