I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
