No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
