The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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