I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
