She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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