I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
