people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
