I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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