That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
