It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
