It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
