I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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