did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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