We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
