I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
