Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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