i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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