There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
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Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
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I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed