Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome