The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
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i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"