I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
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once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
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we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.