My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.