where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
smell my finger.
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and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
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I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.