i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
