I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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