Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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